Hooooooly Crap. I totally suck at keeping up with a blog.

Well there used to be a good excuse for it, being that school took over my life, but that was the case in May, and now it is July. So really my excuse is that I suck at life. So here I am, at work, blogging.
So lets talk about how I'm really starting to freak out about about being "adult-esque". I say "adult-esque" because I really don't feel I can call myself an adult yet, maybe it's just denial. BUT! I do know that a lot of adult-like things are coming into my scope....and this freaks me out. I'm entering into my senior year of college and coming to grips with the fact that come next year I could possibly not be in school anymore (I'm thinking grad school is going to be in the works...). Okay so I know that most kids out there can't wait for the day they can say goodbye to school, but that is not me. Not one bit. I love school, I may complain about it but at heart I love it, especially more that having a real job. Here's my thought pattern on the matter: I've been in school since I was 4, so 17 years, plus it's really the only thing I've ever done besides a few part time jobs. Not to mention I'm freaking awesome at school!. So basically I'm just terrified that one, I wont like what I'm doing, and two, I won't be good at it. So here I am trying to get into grad school. Now this isn't just an avoidance tactic, I really don't feel like I possess enough knowledge and skill to really be doing what I want to be doing at this point (working in the advertising industry) so I figure two years of intense study should help me get to that point. And help me be awesome at it too....I need to be awesome at it, seriously. So yeah that covers "adult-esque freak out" numero uno.

Number two is weddings. Holy crap everyone I freaking know is getting married. Yes, I know when you're in your twenties that's what happens but I'm barely in my twenties here, I wasn't expecting this until at least 23-24. My best friend from high school just got engaged, she's not getting married til next fall but we've been looking at all kinds of stuff trying to get ideas and a basic plan down. And they swore I'd get married first, haHA! I win. Still eerie though, I remember being in eighth grade together....now weddings?! In addition to that another old friend's sister is getting married, we had the bacherlorette party this weekend. Me at a bacheloretty party, I'm also not okay with that. It was fun though, nothing too cheeky, just hanging out with the girls. And THEN if that wasn't enough I had to go buy a bridesmaid dress for yet annnoooother friend's wedding which is this fall. It's okay though because she's the one person I'm really not freaked out about it happening with....plus I adore my dress. ADORE! There are also a whole other slew of people getting married that I know but am not as directly involved with. Blah. But hey the way I look at it....at least I'm not freaked out that it's not me getting married, I'm just freaked out that I'm old enough to have friends getting married :). I have enough trouble committing to things like new earrings or perfume let alone picking a man I want to spend my life with....maybe when I become an adult and less "adult-esque"