So it's been about 4 months....


but after seeing this film I really need to write some things down. Smokin' Aces is the most ridiculously absurd movie I think I have ever seen (and this is coming from someone who just watched 'Cat Women of the Moon' last night).

It's as if Joe Carnahan (the writer/director) took every movie, tv show, and album he currently is in love with and either referenced it somehow or made some sort of an homage.

Let's list some thoughts Mr. Carnahan may have had:

Oh man Ben Affleck is ridiculous, I'm going to put him in my movie....and kill him.
Oh and let's set it in Las Vegas...and make it all Ocean's 11-like
but more clever...like Lock,Stock
oh and it will have to involve mobsters...a mob family, like the Godfather,
lets cast Andy Garcia....but we'll give him a weird southern accent.
you know what else is sweet...Goodfellas...oh shit let's cast Ray Liotta
and lets throw in some russians
oh and some angry black thugs
well then there will have to be hookers!
oh shit, and what if there is a hit woman who pretends to be a hooker
but she's really a lesbian!
Let's not forget neo-nazis.....but what if they're really rednecks
and then there can be this spaz kid who's like Napoleon Dynamite....on crack
but we'll dress him up like Ralph Macchio and make him have a boner.
And his grandma can be huge and manly and have a dildo by her bathtub.
Now who else can we cast?
I've been watching a lot of Entourage lately....maybe Jeremey Piven can be in it
Oh and Alicia Keyes and Common have amazing new albums...them too
I loved Ryan Reynolds in Blade Trinity....but lets make him not funny
You know what my favorite shows are though?
Lost and Arrested Development
Oh shit, Matthew Fox can be in my movie...but I can't really think of a role
He'll just be a pointless security guard
and Jason Bateman!
He'll be a sleezy lawyer with low self esteem...and an alcohol problem.
Oh and he'll just sit around and masterbate all day....in women's underwear..
AND have herpes!!!
So what else is cool...
Oh I know torture...like in Saw
and crazy disguises
and 50 caliber machine guns
and old timey FBI footage
and of course hacking people to bits with chainsaws


Yeah that'd be a sweet movie




So maybe that's not what he was thinking....buuuut that's definitely what made it into the film.

Sadly enough though....I kinda wanna see it again.